Homeowner Forum / Cleaning / July 2006

You see, it tangles in with other fibers and breaks off
into the air gradually! It even stays intertwined with your
body hair and the dust mites make it worse. Think
of that next time you lean on a plaster wall.
Yes, that quaint "plaster and lathe" you thought was superior
to sheetrock is 30% asbestos if it was made or patched
between 1920 and 1980! Ah, the glories of the affectation of
being urban vermin! And you like playing with the bottom of
your shoes while you talk on the phone at work? Just after you
walked all over that white construction debris on the sidwalk?
You got it, dude! 30% asbestos! All over your belongings so
you can pass it on to your grandchildren as well!
Hey, isn't historic preservation just grand! Let's preserve
all the toxic stuff to pas son to our grandchildren so we can
say we so nobly resisted urban "sprawl"! Don't tear those toxic
antiquities down! We want to keep on breathing them!
Isn't urban affectation, grand! But then again, if you're
reading this, you don't know, because urban luddites
hate the internet because it keeps them from experiencing
the stimulation of urban cockaroach life!
And speaking of cockaroaches and pidgeons and rodents,
your smaller fellow urban vermin (that you inevitably eat),
they make nesting material from asbestos and spread it all over.
Yes, you do eat them - they are everywhere in your
beloved sprawl-less city! And when your office moved, did you see
the debris-strwen sidewalk they parked your files on?

They used to put asbestos in: bakelite, plaster of Paris,
sheetrock joints, ceiling "sand" paint, foot-callous pumice,
wall shingles, floor tiles, pipe insulation, skyscraper ceiling
insulation, floortile (black-tar-like) "mastic" (even under
ceramic bath tiles), and roofing shingles. They spread it with
"don't ask, don't tell" electricians and dust-covered
workers on your busses and dumpster leftovers on your sidewalk.

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